Tuesday, 19 May 2015
Crowdcube must be going through a rough patch. Some of the pitches on their platform currently are just too ridiculous.
Take Sir Hans Sloane Chocolate. They want you to believe that their company is worth over £2m - today ...... right now. Trading since 2010, the company has never made a profit and all its directors bar one recent appointment have left. The pitch goes on to claim to be stocked in over 500 supermarkets in the UK. So why is not making any money? The Crowd are clearly better informed than the directors as they have voted with their feet and this pitch will fail. Mind you 50 idiots have pitched in to the turn of £13k so there are still plenty of mugs out there.
Another great example is FightMe - valued today at just a tad over £4m. The pitch uses the cricketer's slip catching technique of firing big names at you. Only problem is when you check them out they are highly dubious. Empty PO boxes in the US really are not enough to con the UK public and only 13 mugs have signed up to this one for a draw dropping total of £480.
Even the massive stardom of Kelly Hoppen seems to be wearing thin on Crowdcube. Her business is at least up and running and making waves. However styles change and we have the feeling hers might just be on the wane - her pitch is struggling to raise the £1.1m she is looking for...............valuing her business at just over £10m. Maybe that's the problem.
Its the valuations stupid. Ever increasingly optimistic valuations based on purely fictional future sales will hopefully see the end of this appalling waste of taxpayers money. You would think that Crowdcube would know this but then it is run by two advertising bods who really havent a clue about establishing a proper business.